SMS Jokes Atbp.

• APO: “Lolo, naka lipstick ka?”
  LOLO: “Ha? bakit apo?”
  APO: “Eh kasi po lolo, lagpas lagpas.”
  LOLO: “Walanghiya yang lola mo, hindi nya sinabi may regla pala sya! Syet! Syet!”

• What fruits best describe a woman’s flower?
  Answer: Durian. Why? Smells like hell but taste like heaven!
  How about for men?
  Answer: Santol. Why? Sarap sipsipin pero di kayang lunukin!

• Tanong: Ano ang tawag sa private part ng bakla pagkatapos ng sexual reassignment surgery or sex transplant para sya maging babae?
  Sagot: FAKE-FEK!

• A man sadly complained that his wife had lost all interest in sex. Doctor gave him a bottle of powerful pills to give to wife. he secretly drops one in wife’s coffee, and takes a pill himself.
  After 10 mins:
  Wife: “I need a man…!”
  Man: “ME TOO!”

  

• “Bloody hell!!! What the fuck did just land on my cutie top? I mean i’ve spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think i’ll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!” —- reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan sya ng mantika habang nagpi-prito ng tilapia.

• Ma’am/Sir:
  I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee,effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company…”
  Truly Yours,
  Inday

• Fun facts from Infection Control

During an hour’s swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.)

An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.

In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects – while you slept!

Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples’ anal gases.

HAVE A GREAT DAY…

…and wash your damn hands!